Rising from the Ashes of a Former Life

December 1, 2009

This is my first attempt at writing anything other than short stories or poetry.  At first, I was hestitant to post it publicly (I am generally very private about my writings), as I reveal so much about myself personally in the words.  It pretty much chronicles a time I spent in a deep depression – though I never lost a sibling, and I never attempted suicide.  However, coming from that dark place, I find it easy to see how someone would think of that as the only option.  It is a slippery slope that – thankfully – I never fell down. 

This is not a happy-fun-time story.  It is angsty and depressing in some spots.  Needless to say, I was kind of surprised how many people actually read and liked it.  I never in my wildest dreams thought that so many people would identify with the character of Bella.  Just so we are all on the same page – there will be no heartfail.  Edward will not leave.  The only angst comes internally from Bella.  There will be a happy ending. 

This blog is intended not only as an alternate outlet for the story, but also as a place for me to post extended author’s notes that will explain my personal inspirations and inflences, including a playlist of songs.  I hope you enjoy!

WTF Happened to NinjaKitten3782?!?

June 19, 2010

Chapter 13 will be posted here and on ff.net this evening.

So… hey guys.  That long break was completely unplanned, and I’m so sorry I couldn’t really do anything about it.  If I had to give an explanation for my extended hiatus, the most basic reason would be that I had to stop writing this story for my own sanity.

I get really involved in my writing, and very deep into the characters I write.  Because I based Bella on myself in so many ways, being inside her head was incredibly difficult.  It opened up a lot of old wounds that I thought were healed.  I had trouble getting up in the morning.  I had trouble falling asleep at night.  I was melancholy.  I got migraines.  I started feeling anxious.  It was a bad scene.

So… I decided to distance myself from the internal angst and write some fluff.  Check out my fluffy one-shots at ff.net and on my Author Blog – they kept me in the writing groove while I got over my fear of writing this fic.  Custom Built won the Men at Work contest (whooo!) and A Different Kind of Southern got Third Place in the Southern Twi-Nights contest. 

But yeah, I’m in a much better place mentally now, and can’t wait to get back to RFTA… I think it’s time for Bella to start making progress, don’t you?

Thank you to all who sent me encouraging PM’s and to all those who are still reading.  Your support of this story means more to me than you know.

A Southern Twi-Night

May 13, 2010

Go check out my entry in the A Southern Twi-Night contest.  I can’t tell you which one is mine (it’s an anonymous contest),  but I think it’s really obvious as soon as you start reading it.  So go figure out which one is mine and VOTE!!!

Chapter 13 Teaser

April 21, 2010

Title: “Give Thanks… For Nothing…”

Song: U2 – Sometimes You Can’t Make it On Your Own

Suddenly, without any warning whatsoever, Charlie Swan was standing inches from me.  I didn’t hear him come in the room; I don’t know how the fuck I missed it.  Okay, that’s a lie… I missed it because I was staring through the doorway to the kitchen completely enthralled while Bella washed and dried the dishes.  Her small frame moved fluidly from the sink to the drying rack… back and forth… the way her hips swayed slightly was almost eroti-

“Son, I think you and I need to have a chat before she gets done in there.”  Well, that killed the moment.

My eyes grew wide as  I whipped my head toward the sound of his voice and I came face to face with the Chief.  Thinking quickly, I smoothed out my shocked expression and steadily replied, “Of course, sir.”

His eyes traveled a circle from my right ear… to my lip… to my left ear… and back to my eyes.  For some reason, watching him take in the outward expressions of my social defiance left me feeling… nervous.  I genuinely wanted his approval.  When he finally cleared his throat to speak, he said the last thing I ever expected, “You’re a good kid.”

Actually, sir, I’m a lethal predator.  But since I crave your daughter, we’ll let that slide and go with what you said.  “Uh… thanks.”

New Chapter… and GO VOTE!

February 28, 2010

Chapter 12 is up!  It’s the interrogation of Edward and some Bella breakdown.  Cause what’s a Bella chapter without some hardcore emotional trauma?  Enjoy!

Also… reminder to vote for me in the IndieTwiFic Awards… first round voting only has a few more days left, so time is of the essence!

Indie TwiFic Awards

February 1, 2010
So, I just found out today that I was nominated for the Indie TwiFic Awards!  Um… don’t even know what to say about that… except that it’s pretty much the most awesome thing EVER.  I am still actually blown away that people are even reading this.  So… um… yeah.  Click on the link below to get to the Indie TwiFic Awards website and check out all of the awesome stories that were nominated.  Oh, and don’t forget to go vote for me when it’s time later this month! (But don’t worry, I’ll remind you…)   

Indie TwiFic Awards
Vote for me at the Indie TwiFics!

Things that annoy me about TwiFics

January 30, 2010

I write TwiFic.  You all probably know that by now.  The following is a list of things that are often used in various fics that really annoy the crap out of me.  Read it!  It’s funny.

1. Bella’s extreme clumsiness is a source of humor for all characters, and they mock her ‘disability’ throughout the entire storyline.  This clumsiness is mentioned countless times and is practically its own character.  Yes, I will admit that in the Twilight books, Bella refers to herself as ‘so clumsy I’m almost disabled;’ HOWEVER, I’m going to go out on a limb and say that she was using literary devices.  Read the rest of this entry »

What am I reading?

January 24, 2010

What am I reading?  Alot of stuff.  Probably too much TwiFic to list.  But I have started a listing of my favorites – the ones that I really think everyone should read.  I’ve started with the AU-Human category (you know, the ones where there are no vamps), and it’s up and running!

Check out my new TwiFic Recommendations page!  I don’t have the stories linked yet, but you can get to them from the sites where I found the summary information (Twilighted.com, fanfiction.net, etc.)

Writer’s Block Be Damned!

January 19, 2010

Chapter 11 is up and running. 

I think one of the reasons this chapter was so super difficult for me to write is that I wanted Bella’s reaction to be realistic.  In Twilight canon, Bella is shocked that Edward is a vampire but determines that this does not matter and goes on to accept him for what he is.  But I can’t STAND fanfics where Edward is all, “I’m a vampire!”  And then Bella’s all, “Really?  Wow.  Okay.  Let’s go make out!”  I mean… come on!  SMeyer had literally chapters and chapters of dialogue and contemplation to get to the acceptance point.  I hope you guys think I’m doing alright with this.  Also, I think another reason it was hard to write is that my Edward tends to be predominately sarcastic and snarky and smitten; in this chapter, I had to make him far more serious.  Which was hard.

Bella needed to tell the rest of this Q&A session, so the next installment will be Bella’s more detailed interview with the vampire we all know and love.  And want to lick.

Rising From the Ashes – Playlist

December 8, 2009

These are not songs that I was listening to while writing (in fact, I can’t listen to music with words and prefer Mozart), but they are some of my favorite songs that I feel reflect the feelings/meanings in the chapters.  Many of Bella’s songs are ones that got me through some really tough times dealing with my own anxiety and depression and I found that I used the emotions they evoked in me while writing from her point of view.  In the list of songs below, I’m going to include a selection of lyrics from each song that mirror the chapter’s tone in case you aren’t into searching for all of them and listening.  I think you should listen to all of them, but that’s just because I love them!
Read the rest of this entry »